David McGilchrist’s article, 2012, The Divided Brain and the
Search for Meaning: Why are We so Unhappy? Kindle Edition, ISBN:
978-0-300-1902-1, explores why people are so unhappy. Again the answer is
related to the bicameral brain. Right handed people do or act with the left
brain. They unconsciously think with the right brain.
We do specific things. We can do without any thinking.
Commands from God, a drill sergeant, or a police officer qualify. We can
command ourselves by copying what others are doing. This can turn a crowd into
a mob.
Or we can be introspective; using the right brain to bring
into view the BIG picture and all of the ramifications of what “doing” may
encompass.
The media has a good time reporting on specific “winners and
losers” rather than presenting the big picture. Most people and sports teams
end up losers.
Jeff gave me a neat example in money management a couple of
days ago. A friend told him about asking an old Jewish gentleman about money.
“You can do three things with money: spend it, save it, and invest it.” This is
the big picture.
Money spent is gone. Money saved for 3-5 years buys larger things
and covers unexpected expenses. Money invested for a lifetime provides a
retirement. (It can take 3$ now to buy what $1 bought in 1980. Inflation encourages
spending.)
Unfortunately credit cards were invented. You can now spend
before you have earned. Jeff is like us; he pays off the credit card as he uses
it. There is no monthly balance or bill or interest charge. He saves 1% to 2%
on everything he buys. He is happy with it. A credit card balance makes one
unhappy, especially if you cannot pay it off, and thus you create a
self-imposed tax of around 18%.
He has split his income into the three buckets. He keeps a
list of everything he spends, or plans to spend, money on. Everything. Needs come first. Everything else can wait until there
is money in the spend bucket; or the savings is large enough to buy an item. Each specific item on the spend list is part of the external big picture that does not forget, as
does the internal big picture. I want this now, but I see something on the list
I would rather have when I have the money to buy it.
We may be unhappy in not getting something we could use a
credit card for, but we can see how it fits into the big picture. We can wait.
We can be happy in seeing progress. In time we may also be happy in not getting
an item (My Hawaii fold-boat. I did learn to pilot an airplane).
If we operate at the level of just doing things, left-brain,
there is no satisfaction; just an urge for doing more, getting more, and
spending more. There is little internal satisfaction, as the left-brain is not
designed to see the big picture.
We fall prey to the credit charge card, and now the loan
charge card at the cash register. The cash register is morphing into a charge
register.
I still believe the rule of three applies to happiness: 1.
New, exciting, and different; 2. Compare; and 3. Confirm; or believe, know and
understand; or learn, practice, and master. (And kids, grandkids and great
grandkids.)
Happiness comes from confirming, understanding, mastery and
kids. These all take time: patience. The current culture in the USA is: doing – now -- in one act.
The November, 2017, issue of the National Geographic
explores “The Search for Happiness”. Happiness is fostered in communities,
“nations, communities, neighborhoods, and family households” that “give them an
invisible lift, constantly nudging them into behaviors that favor long-term
well-being”.
The key words here, to me, are “invisible” and “long-term”,
when the first three communities are planning and controlling (Social Security
and health insurance, for example). Money management is also the first factor
mentioned below, and for the individual, must be very visible.
Six factors account for 75% of the potential for happiness:
“strong economic growth, healthy life expectancy, quality social relationships,
generosity, trust, and freedom to live the life that’s right for you. These do
not come about by just “doing” something today. They may take years of
carefully planned preparation.
Our brains are now set up, and our culture promotes us, to
act now (left brain) and to be introspective (right brain), think about the
consequences, later. This can be reversed by parenting and schooling.
Meditation is becoming an important factor (See previous post: Radiant People). It appears to be
the finishing step in brain, and mind, development from bicameral, to introspective,
to optimized for the world we can now happily live in (Face Time and Face Book,
for example).
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